When It Rains It Pours
Ever had that feeling?
When everything seems to be slipping away from you?
And one thing leads to another until suddenly you find yourself confronting an abyss full of nothingness?
I keep writing and writing but nothing seems to be working.
And it’s getting tougher to write.
The money from writing isn’t coming in either.
Sometimes I just want to stop.
One step forward two steps back. Story of my life.
The questions play in my mind:
“Is it worth the effort?”
“Is it time to quit?”
“I’ll dissolve when the rain pours in,
When the nightmares take me,
I will scream with the howling wind,
’Cause it’s a bitter world and I’d rather dream.”
― Owl City
It’s a familiar scenario.
Whenever I try to build something tangible, meaningful, and worthwhile.
Just about anything.
A personal project.
A lifetime dream.
A relationship.
Health.
Money.
A life of purpose.
I found such a remedy by accident.
Pictures. Portraits. And a Cross.
A picture of my mother hangs on my bedroom wall.
She’s smiling at me.
I can’t help it. Whenever I see her portrait, I start to smile too.
Even though she’s been gone for 6 months now.
I remember her words, hopes, and encouragement.
The bleak clouds begin to lift.
The spring returns to my step.
There is another picture that hangs on a wall in the living room.
It’s an image of Jesus, the Divine Mercy, clothed in a white garment with his right hand raised in blessing.
I am being blessed.
Again and again.
Suddenly my thoughts meander from mere nothingness to humble gratefulness.
That I am alive and well.
I have a roof over my head. And food on the table.
My wife and son are healthy, safe, and sound.
Even though the income is negligible, the bills are still being paid.
Good friends surround me.
Songs abound to cheer me up.
Movies and books at hand to provoke and inspire.
The world and all its goodness waiting for me.
I remember I am blessed.
All I have to do is Trust in Him.
Finally the Cross.
Whenever I feel troubled, I reach out and touch the cross hanging on my bedroom wall.
I remember I am united with Jesus on the cross.
I join my pain to his.
Now it’s easier to bear.
He looks at me full of compassion and love.
It strikes a chord.
Love is all you need.
Now, whenever I feel down, I turn to these 3 objects.
Picture, Portrait, Cross.
I get my strength back.
I feel thankful.
I am loved.
I am not alone.
I can make it.
I start writing again.
Like today.
How about you?
Is it pouring in your life too?
Perhaps the need is to shift the focus.
I found my remedy by accident.
If you have found yours, congratulations. Keep at it.
If you haven’t yet, know that you have the remedy within yourself too.
Till next time,
Jude
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